Tuesday February 19, 2013
The Internet is Like Testosterone
We're dealing with a lot of problems these days. People are uptight. They're worried about the well-being of their families, they're worried about keeping (or getting) their jobs. They're worried about an economy that seems to be growing at a snail's pace. Everyone is jacked up about gun control, one way or the other. Childhood obesity is running rampant. Immigration reform is on the tip of everyone's tongue, as is the war on drugs and the war on terrorism. So it's not hard to understand that people need a venting mechanism. And the Internet makes a very good one -- regardless of the particular channel one chooses to employ. Whether it's a blog like this one, or a Twitter account, or Facebook, or a personal website or email account, or some other data channel -- across the globe, we're taking to the Internet to express ourselves -- sometimes with disastrous results.
Yet I wonder sometimes if just shutting up wouldn't be a better option for some people. I read a great story by Liz Sidoti (Associated Press) recently that talks about this. At the end of her story, Liz leaves us with a priceless quote:
"If you want the country to stop obsessing on the trivial, start with yourself. Before you take to Twitter to smart off about the small stuff in public life, stop and ponder for a moment. Like no other generation, suddenly you have a global megaphone. Ask yourself: Is this really, truly something worth shouting about?
And if not, consider making a choice that so many have such a difficult time with these days. Instead of a fleeting moment of snark on a minor matter, maybe, this once, maybe just shut up already.
You might be making a tiny investment in our future."
Why is it that people believe they have the right to say things on the Internet that would cause a fist-fight if they were eye-to-eye with the person (or people) on the receiving end? There seems to be some sort of perverse pleasure in being able to hide behind a computer monitor or a smart phone and recklessly assassinate the character of someone else, or worse yet, their spouse or children.
I've been an avid Fantasy Football player since, well.... since Fantasy Football started. Along with that pastime, comes a lot of good-natured jocularity -- more often than not in the form of trash-talking one's opponents. Somehow, in that forum, talking trash usually works. There's a general understanding that nobody is being serious; it's self-policing because the other "team owners" tend to gang up on the guy that has a tendency to abuse the privilege. But, in other forums, this seemingly innocuous fun can become something much more sinister, dark and Machiavellian.
I believe that this occurs because the context (in my example, the Fantasy Football experience) is lost. There are no longer any real or even implicit control parameters and, in a flash, fun, friendly trash-talking among friends can become unbridled and malicious invective that can publicly denigrate a person’s character or ability. And as the vituperative claims go back and forth, one quickly gets the sense of being in a descending vortex, from which neither party can ever recover.
Of note here is the general feeling that, more often than not, the people slinging the mud are oblivious to the impact of their actions. When challenged, they tend to justify what they've said with empty and shallow defensive claims. But I think we all (or at least most of us) know the truth. We all can sense when somebody crosses the line. We all recognize the difference between a good-natured literary jab among friends and willful intent to be spiteful and/or cause harm.
Unfortunately, the person on the giving end, more often than not, doesn't quit until a bridge has been burned. Which brings us back to the premise for this weeks blog. Sometimes, it's just better to STFU and take the high road. The guy on the little blue pills will wear himself out eventually.
Have a great month!